I have come to a turning point in my life. Unfortunately, I have no idea which way to turn. In fact, I don’t even know where each direction might lead. In documenting this juncture, I am attempting to find the inspiration that will label the signs at the crossroad and help me pick a direction to follow.
I don’t have the ambition to embark on a more defined project. This will not become a regurgitation of The Julie/Julia Project, although I am tempted to cook my way through the vegetarian recipes in Madhur Jaffrey’s An Invitation to Indian Cooking. I have attempted to start a food blog, and I certainly take enough of pictures of my cooking to fill one, but as you’ll see, I haven’t gotten much further than an introductory post. (Note to anyone who stumbles by that link: Husband and I have since graduated from our respective programs and live together. We eat out a lot.)
I also have a history of starting blogs and giving them up. I used to write in a journal on a regular basis, but that has lagged in recent years as well. I simply forgot to write or post, or more accurately, I felt I had nothing to say. As evidenced by earlier posts on this blog (which I may or may not delete), its previous iteration attempted to tell funny stories about my quirky life. My life has gotten no less quirky. In fact, I have an unfinished manifesto on Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark sitting in my drafts. I will probably still post anecdotes about my quirky life. They may or may not entertain anyone. I may even finish my manifesto about the U2/Broadway/comic book conglomeration that is Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. I still have strong feelings about it, and they do not include shame for having seen it. In order to complain about something, I figure you have to experience it, and experience it I did.
Yes, I go on tangents. Anyway.
The best description of this project is a “virtual to-do list.” Hence I titled it that. Creative? Not hugely. But by publishing my to-do list on the internet and sharing it with my friends, I suppose that commits me to accomplish these items.
Here are some of them in no particular order:
- Redecorate my living room
- Organize my kitchen
- Redecorate my bedroom
- Find the perfect eyeliner
- Put a dent in my novel
- Revise my thesis and prepare it for submission
- Minimize the amount of life detritus in my apartment (read: clean, organize, and make a lot of donations to the Salvation army, because no one needs two VCRs or any video cassettes at all)
- Find a career path
- Find my signature shade of lipstick
- Cook my way through Madhur Jaffrey
- Improve my wardrobe and, perhaps even my fashion sense
- Hop on the disability studies train
- Pare down my extensive library
- Live a greener life
- Successfully transition from pescatarian to vegetarian
They have a slightly self-improvement, homemaker-like flavor. Maybe I just want to feel like I'm living in an issue of Real Simple. Blame my subscription (which goes directly against the idea of living a greener life by being a waste of paper. But online magazines still have a long way to go. Or at least Real Simple does.) Taking care of my home and myself are important to me, and I have been neglecting them as of late. I hope that if I organize my outer space, stylize my outer person, and otherwise refine my surroundings, my inner world and self will follow suit. Perhaps if I pare down the books around me, my writer's block will ease up and I can finish my own. Maybe, with the outside order improved, I will be better able to focus on my inner self.
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